Savin Me Even From Far Away
by Hate being abducted by aliens
Summary: This a sonfic concerning "Savin Me" and "Far Away", both from Nickelback. It's a Mulder's POV during "The Truth I", when he was in prison far away from Scully and William.


**Author's note: **Hey everyone! As said in the summary, this is a songfic that mixes "Savin Me" and "Far Away", both amazing songs from Nickelback, and it's a Mulder's POV, his thoughts concerning the time that he was in prison, during "The Truth I".

I dedicate every single line from this story to my beloved beta (Reader! Not the fish! LOL!): XFoxMuldersGirlX, the fabulous Lauren. Thank you very much for your support, tirelessly proofings and above all things, for your friendship. You're the best, honey pie!

R&R? Please?

**Savin Me Even From Far Away**

I find myself locked up in this cell.

My freedom is at stake and so my life.

This is my "Folsom Prison", I'm stuck here and time just keeps dragging on, running incessantly towards the inevitable ending. I'm convicted. I should have listened to my mom and should have never played with guns.

And at this very time, in this very place, I have one million thoughts running through my head.

I can't help but think about my misused life, all of my past mistakes and their undeniable effects, tragic consequences.

I've been running away for too long. I know I'm unforgivably late…it might be too late.

Who was I to make you wait, Scully? How could I ever be this mean to you? Loneliness and guilt take over me.

I have this killer doubt hammering painfully inside my mind. I don't know if I'll get the chance to see you again. I desperately fear the answer.

It seems like forever since the last time that I saw you and our son, though I keep that moment so vividly alive in my memory. At least they can't take my memory away, it's untouchable, sacred, thankfully.

I would give anything just to have one chance to be with you once again. Just one breath.

'Cause you know, Scully…that I love you.

I have loved you all along, even if I had a hard time showing you.

And God! I miss you so bad that hurts, it's like a stab wound to my poor fragile heart. I thought that being far away for far too long would keep us safe, but it made me insane instead.

Over and over again, day after day, time after time I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go, and I'll never go.

And that's the meaning of death to me. I'll stop instantly breathing if I don't see you anymore. They can't kill a dead man, right?

I have so many things to say to you, Scully. I wish I had a piece of paper and one of those pencils that I stupidly wasted in our office ceiling, so I could write to you and tell you everything that has been stuck in my throat for such a long time.

I'm lying on the cold solid ground.

There's nothing else besides darkness. The well known darkness, the one that I've been familiar with ever since I can remember, even that, somehow, has become unbearable.

_These prison gates won't open up for me__. _I feel like there's no hope left for me, that I reached the point of no return.

And I know that I've never told you this, but remember that time when we were investigating the "Big Blue"? That thing that ate Queequag? I'm really sorry, by the way. Well, you said that I was just like Ahab from "Moby Dick". Then I said that I was actually an antithesis of him, though deep inside I was scared to agree with you, because you were undeniably right. Predictably, my search for the 'white whale' has taken its toll on me, it has only brought me more and more suffering and to everyone else near me, especially you, and I will never forgive myself for that. My selfish obsessive search for the 'truth' reached the end, my end. My personal vengeance against life has finally consumed me.

I feel so tired, Scully. Every inch of my body hurts. Now I can actually feel the weight of a lifetime lived on the edge, and all I want is to rest next to you. However, on these hands and knees I would crawl for you.

I reach for you, Scully.

I'm a coward…I'm terrified of these four walls.

I'm terrified because they keep me far away from you.

I'm terrified because I might never be able to see you and William ever again.

I'm terrified because it might be my final solitude.

But you know what? These iron bars can't hold my soul in, even less my love you.

All I need is you. You're all I need.

Come please…I'm calling!

I'm on my knees and all I ask is one last chance

I scream for you, Scully.

Because with you by my side, holding tightly onto my hand, I could withstand all of hell.

I would give it all, I would give for us, I would give anything but I won't give up. It's like you said…if we give up, they'll win.

Hurry! I'm falling…

_You're the only one who's capable of revive my strengths. What's like, Scully? To always be the last one standing. Show me, please? _

Your unshaken hope and faith have saved my life countless times before. Can you resurrect me just one more time?

Would you teach wrong from right? Like you have always done. You're the only one capable of fixing me.

So…fix me.

And I'll show you what I can be.

Say it for me!

And I promise I'll leave this life behind me. I know I've never promised you anything, because I was afraid that I could not keep it, though this I promise you now, I'll leave everything behind me, the X Files, the FBI, everything that I have ever known to simply start a new life with you, go back to the beginning, far away from everything that has ever hurt us. And I won't look back.

Say it! But only if it's worth saving me. Is it, Scully?

I'm pretty sure that just like these prison gates that Heaven's ones won't open up to me. Even though I haven't committed the crime that I've been paying for, my worst crime was to be blind enough to not be with you and William when you needed me the most. But I do repent of all my sins, from deep of my heart and soul. Still, don't I get a second chance?

My wings are broken. I can't help but to fall. Just like a fallen angel.

And all I see is you. My religion is you.

City walls ain't got no love for me. I feel like I'm on the window ledge of the eighteenth story. There's nothing left for me.

I scream only for you. Come please! I'm calling. Are you still able to listen to my thoughts, Scully? Can you still read my mind so perfectly?

Keep breathing, my love, because I won't leave you anymore.

Believe it, believe me! Hold on to me and never let me go.

Hurry! I'm falling! I need you my angel to come rescue me with your perfect wings.

Fix my broken wings.

So we can fly far away from here.

Only you and I.

So, hold on to me and never let me go.

- The End -


End file.
